03.28.07
Huff-Po and Brian Hackett (aka Steven Weber)
I don’t check the Puffy-Ho often, and I admit it. Life is too damn short. But does it bother anyone else that it is basically occupied by mindless celebrities and no-name, know-nothing scribes ? I don’t see any real debate. I see a buncha over-paid morons spouting. But it’s a lotta liberals, so I suppose that is redundant.
I read this thing a few minutes ago. I must warn you… it’s profanity laced, but in the cute “Hollywood” way. It makes no sense at all. And if you are allergic to metaphors, you will be in shock in the first paragraph.
I found it hilarious and very sad all at the same time. Here’s an actor who was awful terrible horrifically bad on one show, and has done exactly nothing else but hire someone to write blog posts for him. That must be a really sad existence, but he and his minions need something to do until the get the call from NBC that their show sucks donkey balls, is canceled, and Aaron Sorkin needs to get off the ’shrooms and get a real job.
Here’s a taste of the self-important Mr. Weber:
The Bush administration checklist of disgrace lengthens faster than the penis of a minister on crystal meth. I won’t go into my Cranky Liberal rant, moving down the list with a grease pencil, ticking off each egregious offense against the gullible, too-trusting American people. Instead I will offer my Cranky Liberal response to those who have said “Yeah, you’re mad.
Big deal. What do we do?” And keep in mind I have just finished a cool glass of white wine, so make of that what you will. Fuggit. It’s five o’clock here. I’m an adult, dammit. Here goes:
So what to do? First, triangulate your news sources. Since most of the news services are owned by Thomas Nast-like caricatures of swollen carpet baggers and cigar-sucking plutocrats, one must sift through the news like a grizzled miner panning for the bleak glitter that, once refined, can be turned into an ornate broach on the freckled bust of an aging dowager. Check and double check.
You really have to read the whole thing to appreciate the absolute and blithering idiocy. And I especially like the fact that he keeps having to mention the white wine he has consumed. Is that supposed to be an excuse for being a moron, or some sort of hat-tip to Hollywood chic ?
(Stevie, baby, real men don’t drink white wine except at dinner… if you were dining with Selma Hayek and had some chicken enchilada’s, I’d forgive you…. I bet you were swigging 75 dollar bottles of Pinot Grigio straight out of the ice bucket….. not something to brag about)
Ya gotta cool off the metaphors, buddy. I know you are getting almost painful pats on the back now that you have joined the stable of Arianna’s studs, but really…. there are two kinds of people who read that dreck, and I’ll give you a run-down on both.
There are people who have seen you act, and think you are great, and love every single word of it…. those people will finish reading your archives as soon as they get back from kindergarten or get the curtains put out from the unexpected bong fire.
Then there are those who have seen you act and are having a very serious internal struggle as to whether the character Lowell (Thomas Hayden Church) or the engine to the plane from Wings is smarter than you. To call your acting abilities untalented is an insult to the untalented, to call your pseudo-success unfathomable is an insult to the fathoms… To put your abilities from the pilot of Wings against your performance on the last episode of Studio 60 is to watch a career and ability growth that can only be matched by a mosquito. From .2 mm to about 2 mm, and over in a day.
Sorry- I read your dreck and I went metaphor happy. But at least I didn’t insult 80% of the nation with a cheap and disgusting “minister” crack.
Please let the rest of us know what your next show will be after the Studio 60 thing crashes and burns, so we know when we can schedule to be away from the TV. Although, personally, I’d like to see you on an 8pm eastern show, so I can see O’Reilley kick your ass directly. And I don’t like him either, but…. lesser of two evils.
